First we must understand when the most appropriate time to start having a sex life after child birth is? No matter if through natural child birth methods or a cesarean, normal sex life can start once the vagina mucous has been dried and cleaned. Theoretically, timing is about 2 weeks to 1 month, but if taking in consideration more traditional customs, woman can start agreeing to their partner’s sexual requests after one month. But due to the cutting and stitching of the vagina from giving birth naturally, we will recommend consulting with your doctor and confirming the wound has healed completely before engaging in sexual intercourse. So how do we take that first step? For the first few times, feeling discomfort and even pain is unavoidable, especially if the vagina is still in the swollen stage, it will be more fragile. It is suggested to try practicing using your fingers to stimulate or open your vagina, or you can ask for your husband’s help, if this is successful then you can start preparing for first time intercourse after child birth. However, if during the practice you feel pain or if bleeding occurs, then we suggest giving yourself more time to recover. If rushing things, resulting in secondary tearing of the birth canal, recovery time may be doubled. In addition painful scarring may appear at the vaginal opening, and affect your acceptance for sex later on.

Many people wonder if child birth methods will affect the couple’s sex life in the future. The answer is very little, normally for cesarean child births, since the woman’s vagina was not stretched or torn when giving birth, it does not affect the tightness of the vagina. However, we can not conclude for sure that the natural child birth method will cause loosening of the vagina; the key still depends on the size of the baby, the recovery exercises during not only the child birth process but also post child bearing. The bigger the baby, the more serious the tearing of the mother’s vagina, in this case, we can always ask for a surgeon’s professional help to carefully stitch the torn tissue. Also 2 to 3 months after child birth, regular recovery pelvis exercises, such as lifting both heels and performing uterus contraction exercises, or opening your legs and squatting half way down and contracting your lower body… etc., all these exercises can help regain the elasticity and tightness of the vagina. You can perform these exercises anytime, and should continue exercising with patience, in any case you are not able to perform them, and there are also other surgical methods you can use to improve a sagging vagina, which we will discuss later.

After the detailed explanation above, I think we all have a better understanding about post child birth sex life, and should not be frightened or depressed. So besides cooperating with your partner, what other methods and tricks can help you reach orgasm after child birth? Please allow me to introduce several methods below:

1. Increase the foreplay process:
Regarding sex after child birth it is advised to not directly penetrate, because the internal wounds from child birth may get damaged due to lack of lubrication. In addition, the uterus may not have returned to its original height yet, so careless entry or strong impacts can cause bleeding, therefore, foreplay and fondling time should be extended. I would suggest that partners should use their fingers to open and stimulate the vagina and clitoris first, during this stage it is most likely that you are not very sensitive, but it can gradually improve with more stimulation, and some women can even experience orgasm at this point.

2. Changing Sexual Positions:
Post child birth, due to the recovery process, the vagina will temporarily be not as tight compared to before child birth, in addition the existence of wounds in the vagina, when engaging in traditional sexual intercourse with the man on top, may cause discomfort and result in rejection. So why not try the less traditional method with the woman on top, allowing you to take control of the process, this way because of the change in vaginal position, it is harder to impact the scar. You can also tell your partner how to match your rhythm, reducing the psychological pressure of sexual intercourse. In addition, the woman on top position can aid in contracting your lower body similar to the half bending down crunch exercise, so you can tighten your vagina in the process, this significantly aids in achieving orgasm for both man and woman.

3. Use of supplementary tools:
Although 10 months of pregnancy is not too long, but after a long period of abstinence, for the couple to have the same involvement as a newly married couple, the sense of closeness prior to pregnancy may need to be recovered. Maybe you can take the initiative and suggest watching porn videos, or putting on sexy underwear from before, even though your figure is not the same as prior to pregnancy, it can still help you find your confidence back, and at the same time surprise your partner. This kind of initiative from your end, I believe can aid your partner in entering the situation easier. In addition trying a different location or environment for sexual intercourse can be very good idea as well. But I need to remind everyone, the vagina is still very fragile at this point and if you chose to use sex toys, it has to be with extreme caution so you don’t get yourself hurt in the process.

4. Search for help from your doctor:
If after this trial period you still can not find the same feelings as before you were pregnant, or still are having difficulties in experiencing orgasms, both husband and wife must face this issue and find the reason. Is it because of the huge pressure after child birth? Or is it the loosening of the vagina after child birth that causes your partner to lose sexual interest? For the first issue, seeking for a therapist can help. For the latter problem, surgical procedures to tighten your vagina or vagina cosmetic surgery can help you regain the feelings felt before pregnancy; so both man and woman can reach orgasm and gain satisfaction through intercourse. This type of surgery is not very expensive, costs are around 25000 to 30000 NTD, the surgery time is around 1 hour, and it is necessary to rest for 3-4 weeks after surgery. There is also another G-Spot Amplification surgery, the increased thickness of your G spot makes it easier for your partner’s reproductive organ or fingers to reach, triggering a series of orgasm responses for women. This type of G spot orgasm is deep and persistent, the vagina will involuntarily contract and may release a clear secretion; not only will the male party feel it; the feelings of the female will be strong and unforgettable. You can also choose to have the procedure along with the vagina tightening procedure, making the stimulation of your sensitive area even more complete.

Modern woman are constantly pursuing their self actualization, marriage and pregnancy are no longer necessary, but if the day ever arrives, we must be completely ready and informed to face it. Especially how to regain intimacy and a sex life is critical for couples, and is a lesson that mothers need to understand seriously. A child’s birth does not have to mean the end of a happy marriage, how to take control of sex is the first step to make your partner surrender to you, and is the start of becoming a happy and confident mother. Let’s not be all talk and no action, let us immediately let go of past baggage and start discussing with your husband!